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Jane - Counselor

JANE's Advice
March 2007

Q: I married at twenty-five and we've been together for six years now, but recently I've fallen for a man at work. I've never been attracted to a man this much before. We ended up kissing passionately at our staff Christmas ball and now regularly indulge in kisses and cuddles. I also find I can talk much more easily to him than my husband. I'm trying not to be unfaithful to my husband but I just can't stop myself. This man makes me feel alive and attractive. What should I do?

A: It sounds like your marriage has become a bit boring and predictable, possibly because you and your husband aren't putting much energy into maintaining it. This means that someone new is very exciting indeed. The first connection and feelings of chemistry are the most wonderful afterall.

However, you really need to focus on rejuvenating your marriage and bringing back the fun into your relationship. Regularly plan fun things to do together so that you look forward to being together. This will inject new life into your marriage and your staid attitute toward each other will in turn change for the better.

Distance yourself from your work colleague, and think of yourselves more as neutral friends. It won't be easy, but you have to do it for the sake of your relationship with your husband. You've made a commitment together and you should honour that.

Good Luck!