A: When couples marry there is an expectation that they will have a full and satisfactory sexual relationship with one another.

A small number of couples may choose to have a celibate relationship and this can work if BOTH parties are in agreement that sex is no longer to play a part in their relationship. However, this does not seem to be the case in your marriage.

You mention that your son sleeps with your wife and has done so for some time - no wonder you wife is down at night! Your son needs help in dealing with his fears of sleeping alone. He has to be helped in gaining independence. It is not in his best interests to be supplanting you in the marital bed. It is very important for couples to remember that they are a couple first, before being parents.

Talk openly with your wife and find out how she feels about the situation - is she as unhappy as you? Does she miss having sex? Or does she have concerns about your relationship that she is not expressing?

You both would be helped by talking through your issues with a qualified couples counselor / therapist who could also give you some help in dealing with your son.

In the meantime, if your wife is missing sex with you, how about taking her away for a night to a hotel? Perhaps a relative / friend can look after your son? Sex doesn’t just happen at night - how about trying to make opportunities for sex when he is at school or at a friend’s house?

Good Luck!