It is very common to have a decrease in desire after the birth of a baby. It is a biological quirk that helps a woman focus on bonding with her baby. There is a great upheaval of hormones after the birth of a baby and during the period when a baby is breast fed. Other factors such as lack of sleep, increased responsibilities and adjusting to a new demanding role can also take its toll on a mother’s libido.

Are you so wrapped up with your baby that you crave less intimacy with your husband?
Do you feel that now you are a mother you should behave differently and be more like your parents? While you are thinking about these questions, try to re-establish physical closeness with your husband. Make sure you kiss, hug one another, hold hands, sit close together on the sofa while watching TV.

Many people also make the mistake of thinking they have to wait until they WANT to have sex, before they engage in sexual activity. Make a date with your husband to have sex - get a babysitter so you don’t have to worry about the baby, maybe go to a hotel.
Think about what you will wear, set the scene and anticipate what will happen. Discuss with your husband what you are comfortable doing - it may take a little while to re-establish full penetrative sex. The purpose of the encounter is to connect with your partner and share a loving time together. However, you may find that your libido comes rushing back! Unless you are fully breast-feeding, do remember to use contraception.

Sometimes people are shocked by the thought of a woman wanting to have sex whilst she is menstruating. However, due to the hormonal activity that occurs at this time many women feel more aroused and sexually receptive. Having an orgasm can also greatly help menstrual cramps and discomfort.

Provided your partner is comfortable with having penetrative sex with you during this time don’t worry, go ahead, but remember the following tips:-

1. Your partner should wear a condom - your menses might cause some irritation to his penis if he does not.
2. Your cervix and vagina might be more sensitive during your period so you need to consider using different positions and for your partner to be extra careful during penetration.
3. A towel on the bed prevents accidental staining on the bed-linen.
4. A Diaphragm can be used during this time as a means to inhibit the menstrual flow. However, use a condom as well as the Diaphragm. It may not fit quite so well over the cervix during your period.
5. Never be tempted to use a tampon as a means to prevent leakage of blood. It could get pushed so far up so that you would be unable to retrieve it. If it remained in the reproductive tract a serious infection could occur. Removal would have to be carried out by a doctor!

Yes - why not? It might be a big relief for him not to have to take the initiative all the time!
If he says ‘yes’ It might be a good idea to discuss details with him. For example, will you decide what form the date will take - going to the cinema, a hike or a visit to an art gallery? Or will you expect him to do this? Who will pay or will you split the bill? If you are asking I would suggest you decide what you would like to do and hopefully he will be so flattered to be asked out that he will agree!

Best of Luck!