Oohtique! - The Heart of Intimacy

Aphrodite

Love Matters
July 2005

A bit of Q & A with our Queen of Hearts, Aphrodite:

Q1: I’ve been dating a fantastic man for three months, we have a lot in common and have amazing sex. But I discovered he’s already got a girlfriend! I confronted him with this and he says he’s waiting for the right time to break it off with her and it’s me he really wants to be with. He says she’s a sweet girl and will take it really badly. I’m so disappointed at this and don’t know whether I can forgive him for the deception.

A1: A case of have your cake and eat it. This is a very awkward situation for you to be in – you’re clearly crazy about him but he’s lied to you. If you hadn’t had found out, when, if ever, would he have told you about his girlfriend? To say he’s waiting for the right time is ridiculous – breaking it off before dating you is the only right time. I’d stop seeing him until he’s no longer with his girlfriend – otherwise where’s the incentive for him to break up with her when he can have the both of you? At that point it’s up to you whether you can put this behind you and stop it from causing trust issues in your relationship going forward.

Q2: How can I please my girlfriend in bed most?

A2: The quick answer is by giving her lots of oral sex. The long answer is as well as that, flatter her - tell her she’s beautiful, sexy and how much she turns you on. Worship her body with your eyes, your fingertips, your tongue. Make love with confidence and without inhibitions – try new positions, new locations. Make her feel like a love goddess!

Q3: . I recently met a man who I felt an overwhelming connection to. It was very strange – he wasn’t really my type, but I felt like I’d known him for decades and felt very comfortable with him. We got on famously and seemed totally compatible. I told him this and he told me never to contact him again! His friends have since told me he’s got a lot of issues and is no good with women. However, despite knowing this, since we had such an amazing connection I’m finding it hard to get him off my mind.

A3: It could simply be that he’s not ready for a commitment yet. And that rather than telling you this he took the cowardly way out. On the other hand, perhaps he’s scared of feeling the same way you do – and the intensity of the emotions scared him away. I know it’s hard, but try to stop thinking of him. If it’s meant to be then he’ll come back into your life, but get on with your life in the meantime in case he doesn’t reappear. Also, listen to his friend’s comments – they know him well, and to warn you off him is probably saving you a lot of heart ache.

All you need is Love!